Don't Be Fooled by Others
You are not who you think you are
Self confidence comes from knowing you are not defined by anyone’s thoughts about you, least of all your own. - Gyodo Sensei
Happy Halloween everyone,
It’s a time when the veil thins and ghosts abound. The line between life and death gets fuzzy, as does the demarcation between me and you, self and other. The line may also thin between the different aspects of yourself, the multiplicities that make you you.
Knowing what we now know about the “thingness” of things and the fixity of selves, — namely, not so thing-like, not so fixed — we can recognize that this “fuzziness” is a more accurate representation of the nature of our selves, of reality.
We can embody this on Halloween!
Over the last few decades of practicing in community, I have found that the transition into winter energizes our inner exploration. At this time of the year many new people take their first steps into group practice, and those who have been practicing for some time are drawn (often with some relief) to focus less on external relationships and activities, and more on the callings and care of their soul.
Halloween especially is a great holiday for spiritual exploration, since it invites us to explore the borderland between life and death: not only the death of your body, but also the death of your ego-identity.
When you put on a costume and goof around, you can inhabit a new archetypal form. Has your old self died for a moment? Did a new self arise? Who are you anyway?
Having confidence in yourself is very different from confidently believing you actually are the person defined by external labels. Your true self is accessed in silence via your enthusiasms, affinities, loves, and passions, not through the credentials you have (or have not) established in your academic, professional or personal "careers".
There is a wonderful Zen koan about adopting "disguises" to help uncover your true self beyond labels and ideas:
Every day Master Zuigan used to call out to himself, "Oh Master!" and would answer himself, "Yes?"
"Are you awake?," he would ask, and then answer, "Yes, I am"
"Don’t be fooled by others, any day, any time!"
"No, Sir! I will not!"
At first blush, you might think that Master Zuigan is a bit crazy, talking to himself every morning like this. But his activity is a really powerful model for how we can confidently explore the depths of our own True Self.
There are many subtle and direct practice points we can take from this koan, but the most important thing is to feel the urgency of his admonition: "NEVER be deceived by others, ANY day, ANY time!" Recognizing the suffering caused when your live your life according to the perceived (or projected) thoughts of others, he encourages all of us to instead wake up and remain awake to our own boundless natures.
Of course, the reason we practice, and the reason this koan still resonates many centuries after Master Zuigan lived, is that it is the nature of our small minds to be constantly deceived by others, seeking outside for definition, approval and attention, and creating anxiety, anger and confusion when you don't get them. Sitting in meditation, you can see this pretty clearly, and you can quit it.
Master Mumon wrote an interesting comment about this koan, which brings us back to Halloween. He said:
Master Zuigan has a lot of masks of puppets of goblins and devils that he plays with. Why is this so? With one mask he asked, and with another he answered.
If you take these different appearances as really existing, you are totally mistaken. If, however, you imitate Zuigan, then all these are no other than the fox's disguises.
So you might begin each day by briefly connecting with your self beyond the ideas and expectations of role and society, then go about your day in playful disguises, making sure to never take any of your appearances too seriously.
If you actually put on a costume, you may be considered as crazy as Zuigan, and perhaps as wise. ;)
Have fun tonight, and stay safe.
Paul
Image by Mark T. Morse, Gateless Gate Studio